September 29, 2025
You might’ve heard this famous show-business saying: “Dying is easy. Comedy is hard.” Not being dead or a professional comedian, I can’t say whether that’s true. I do know it’s awful to learn that someone I care about has passed. What’s even more wrenching is getting the word by text.
It seems this practice is not only common, it’s encouraged. There are tutorials and examples of how to deliver the heartbreaking news in a few quick taps, to spare yourself the ghastly ritual of talking. I can almost see how a text could be the preferred option at times. But here’s how one memorial outfit thinks you should inform a close relative.
“I’m deeply saddened to share that Dad passed away last night. As we grapple with this immense loss, it’s important we support each other as he would have wanted. I’m here to shoulder this with you, every step of the way. Let me know when you’re free for a quick call. We are still finalizing memorial arrangements but I will keep you posted.”
If somebody sent me this mountain of AI garbage, I couldn’t make the “quick call” because my phone would be in pieces on the ground. Since you need to speak to the other person, why not call right away?
My wife was deeply wounded when a relative texted her about another’s death (and to make matters worse, waited several days to do even that). Text vs. call etiquette doesn’t apply to every situation. A few words on a screen is absolutely the worst way to communicate when you’ve just lost a member of the family. A text walls off the sender and burdens the recipient with the painful reality. It’s an insult. And it hurts.
I realize all this might seem trivial to folks who grew up with smartphones in their hands. For us older ones, it’s one more sign that our “civilization” is vanishing like polar ice. So please stop and think before texting any heavy news. You have a voice and a soul. At difficult times, it’s important to share them.