Dear Sir,* We’ve received your application for Social Security. We welcome you to the ranks of the senior beneficiary retirement subgroup, or as some of our younger staff call it, “Geezer Gulch.” Before we can start payments, we need you to answer just a few questions to be sure you’re eligible. After all, we wouldn’t… Continue reading Anti-social security, or “Ten things to know about getting old”
Category: men and women
Hot to bot
I usually avoid cliches like the plague, but brother, this one is right dead center on target: old age ain't for cream puffs. It's hard enough just getting up some mornings, then you open the (electronic) paper and are greeted with the bulletin that "The sexbots are coming." Believe it or not, I had a… Continue reading Hot to bot
Bun amuck
Women, is your man hard to shop for? And maybe a little short in the style department? Did you swipe right on a sizzling metrosexual dude who turned out to look like Dilbert instead? Want the perfect gift for your guy in this holiday* season? Well, here it is: The clip-on man bun. Take a… Continue reading Bun amuck
“Reefer and Jesus”
I’ve got some actual news to talk about, and I’d say “Stop the presses!” but the big scoop is that they’ve started the presses over at the Birmingham Arts Journal in Alabama, on an issue that includes my short story, “Reefer and Jesus.” This is my first published fiction, i.e., published by someone besides my… Continue reading “Reefer and Jesus”
Modern his’m
Just when I was getting over the onslaught of online clickbait and the AARP’s advice on how to be a hunka hunka burnin’ geezer, now I’ve gotten a blast of wonderful free advice on the meaning of male. Trust those faithful guardians of truth at the New York Times to come out with 27 Ways… Continue reading Modern his’m
Stuporcize me
I’m full. No, make that stuffed. Satiated. Saturated. Gorged. Bursting. My body is aching and my mind is foggier than Beijing on a bad air day. I can almost feel the grease pushing out through my pores. My entire system is sneering and snarking at me: “Are you kidding me? Have you no sense of… Continue reading Stuporcize me