February 26, 2025
You’ve probably heard that the two men who are leading us into God knows what are planning to drop in on Ft. Knox to check on our gold reserves. I’m more worried about another precious asset: words, of which far too many have been twisted, corrupted, and weaponized.
It’s natural for meanings to change over time. That’s why we have etymology. But today, a mob of gaslighters is trying to tell us up is down and foul is actually fair. At the risk of setting a match to the fumes and blowing myself up real good, I’ll try to set some things straight.
Who’s deranged? The right argues Democrats suffer from Trump derangement syndrome (TDS). This claim is best described as a variation on an old saying, as in “Hello, kettle? This is the pot. You’re black!” The real brain pandemic is liberal derangement syndrome or LDS (not to be confused with the Latter-Day Saints). Though the condition has deep roots in our history, the modern plague started with Rush Limbaugh, who polluted the public sphere with hate, lies, and conspiracy theories.
The afflicted act as if folks with left-of-MAGA ideas are literally Satan’s spawn. This includes “libs,” people of color, the LGBTQ, federal workers, immigrants, women, and anyone who says things they don’t like. They love oligarchs such as Felon Musk and Peter Thiel, as well as intellectual reactionaries who believe democracy is an enemy to be destroyed.
Might I be…woke??!! John McWhorter of the New York Times writes that when Black people coined the term, it meant, “understanding that there are larger forces operating to keep power unequally distributed in our society, disfavoring especially the poor and people of color.” As we all know, it became an anti-liberal slur, but now even fits some on the far right. To me, the best definition is Jane Fonda’s, which sounds like what I learned long ago from my parents and my church: “Woke just means you give a damn about people.”
Who’s a patriot? This one really sticks in my craw. The “Patriot Movement” started with a bunch of bigoted fruitcakes in the 80s and 90s, soon producing terrorists like Tim McVeigh. Today’s “patriots,” while not necessarily violent, are the Trumpier-than-thou fringe who wrap themselves in the flag, or rather a blizzard of Stars & Stripes emojis.
In my years with the federal government, I worked with patriots every day. Nobody advertised it or bragged about it. We just did our jobs for the country and the people, not for any one president.
This song came out when Reagan was in office, about a month before my first day as a fed. Then, as now, dissent did not mean disloyalty. (You might know “Little Steven” Van Zandt as Silvio Dante on The Sopranos, but he made fine music too.)