One of the great things about being a blogger is that this wacky ol’ world gives me a constant source of new spins on old ideas. (The more cynical readers might accuse me of not having an original thought in my head, or recycling a bunch of dated bloviations that weren’t even good the first time. Got a problem with that, pilgrim?) Some time ago, I did my best to debunk a study that claimed men who did traditionally male chores around the house enjoyed their partners’ “attention” more often than those who did girly-man stuff like cooking, cleaning, and laundry.
Well, the tectonic plates have shifted, the rivers are running uphill, and the planets are swirling through space like pinballs! Laundry is hot, hot, HOT, according to this New York Times piece, “How Men Can Succeed in the Boardroom and the Bedroom.” The gist of it is that workplace equality lifts the organization, helping both women and men in the long run. No argument here, nor with the idea that sharing household labor offers the same kind of benefit for couples.
Which isn’t exactly breaking news. (BTW, I guess you can’t say “Stop the presses!” anymore. Maybe “Stop the Internet!”?) The B-52s sang about this a couple of decades ago in a ditty called “Housework,” whose lyrics say, “Don’t need a man to treat me mean / I need a man to help me clean / Someone who’s heaven sent / Someone to help pay rent / Someone to share dreams and wishes / Someone to help me do the dishes.”
But the Times also asserts that if guys want to do something nice “instead of buying flowers, they should do laundry…Choreplay is real.” Full stop. Choreplay? Even if I weren’t a congenital grammar-crab who recoils at cutesy words, I’d beg to differ (and since this is my bleepin’ blog, I don’t have to beg). Chores aren’t play. They are defining moments in the lives of men and women (and presumably everybody else). The true gauge of compatibility has nothing to do with all those stupid relationship quizzes and tests – it’s painting a room, fixing the woodwork, hanging a ceiling fan, or worst of all, putting up shelf paper. The four most terrifying words you’ll ever hear from your partner are not “We need to talk,” but “It’s still not straight!”
As anyone who’s ever been in a relationship knows, there’s a time for bleach and fabric softener, but there’s also a time for lush, red roses, good champagne, and some quiet Bill Evans on the stereo. Now if y’all will pardon me, I’ve got to go chase the woodpeckers who are boring into the house again, get the squirrels off the feeder, make a stop at the dishwasher and maybe even (!) the laundry room.
Sound sense. Oh and there’s always good reason for some Bill Evans! Regards Thom.